I could buy anything, just anything for any of you girls and you'd be chuffed to bits. A tea cup with a funny moustache on it, or a necklace from Topshop, or a new bit of make up. Anything.
Pointless stuff for guys is utterly pointless. Somebody as tried and totally FAILED to come up with tat for blokes. A speaker that looks like a rubiks cube? WTF - LAME! Even a snow globe with a photo together in it seems a bit too soppy. A book of jokes? Great, that's original. Even bodycare sets are a bit rubbish. 'Here have a bodywash that you might not like the smell of, and a razor with a blunt blade because of health and safety reasons'. Brilliant.
What about another tshirt? What witty slogan will he like, should I just get one with a photo of boobs printed on it? How about a racey calendar, is it too cliche?
Someone, please. I genuinely need help.