Thursday, 14 June 2012

Birthday Blues.

It's only 17 sleeps until my birthday. I can feel the murmurs of a 'mid life crisis' in the making. I used to make fun of people who were sketchy about getting older. I'm not even old yet for goodness sake, I'll be turning 24. I mean, when I had my 21st birthday I was just so excited to be 21. I hardly noticed that I turned 22, but that might have been because I was in staying the Royal Suite of the Jumeirah Beach Hotel in Dubai. I was slightly aware that I was getting older on my 23rd birthday, but it didn't bother me so much. This year, I am freaking out. Credit where credit is due to Boyfriend as a trip to France is quite a distraction. Left to my own devices I'd probably be in sweatpants drinking red wine out of the bottle, too anxious to organise anything fun, looking deranged and not wanting to see anyone. Perhaps it's because all of my other friends are mothers, or have great careers, or are married, or engaged. I have an overdraft and a bus pass. My schizophrenia is in overdrive. While all of this is raging around my skull, I little part of me is watching from a distance tapping her foot, rolling her eyes and telling me to stop being such a child and get over it. I have listed the great things about my life at 24 to try and boost morale.

1. I have the best Boyfriend anyone could ask for, caring, funny, clever. 
2. I have wonderful friends who are always there for me. 
3. I'm the only one of my childhood friends who doesn't need a babysitter. (Sorry to rub it in). 
4. I'm being driven to see champagne cellars and the Eiffel tower in a slick new convertible Mercedes. 
5. I have all the music I could ever need, something I can't live without. 
6. My family are at arms length, far enough away to not drive me insane, but close enough for support. 
7. I have a permanent full time job. 
8. I don't have to pay for road tax, MOT's, insurance, petrol and parking. 
9. I have everything I need.

That should shut me up for a while. I'll just keep on repeating the list to myself, like a mantra. xoxo

21st birthday
22nd birthday
23rd birthday

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